I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
