Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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