we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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