On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
