His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
