Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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