i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets