never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
