awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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