I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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