I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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