The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
