I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
