38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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