Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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