he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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