I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
