there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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