im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
