you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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