Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
thus making me awesome and them whores
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
