Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
