You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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