Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
