i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
