I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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