Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
