There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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