she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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