Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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