physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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