she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
