I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
