Can i not drive my cunt home
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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