What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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