I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
