hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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