Non-Jews are for practice
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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