I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
