and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
