great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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