I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize