Porn is love you can see.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
