handjob tips. give me some.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
