Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
