The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
