Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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