Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
