He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
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He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
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Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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