as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
