When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
