omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
