i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
