No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
