Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Did I show you my penis last night?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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