We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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