i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
