We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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