I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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