Capitaan dildo arrescate!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
