she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
