He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
