I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize